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  • Writer's pictureKaren Stabile

How often do you pretend?

Are there people at work or in your life that you pretend to like. We all have pretended to some extent. It might have worked before, but now that you're a leader...there's a better way.

Besides people can see right through us when we just pretend to like them.

What if there was a way that we could learn to, maybe not initially love…but at least begin to understand and appreciate them for exactly who they are? Are you in?

One of the most important aspects of a leader is to be a real lover of humanity. (Pretending doesn't get you as far as you have the capacity to go.)

"Effort is the great equalizer, talent is what you have. Effort is what you give." John McCarthy

Effort and at times even a little extra effort, is exactly how to step up your ability to open your arms equally to everyone.

"Treat others exactly the way you want to be treated... in a genuine way." No matter how hard we try to reinvent the wheel of relationships, we can’t get away from the “Golden Rule.” Those who follow the rule…usually have gold and a lot of it. Not necessarily the kind you hold in your hand, but the kind that gives you the ability to fall asleep like a baby at night. There are those who would pay big money to be able to do that. See, I said it was gold.

Teams are people! People are on teams!

Usually one of the first questions people ask me when they find out what I do is, “So, who do you like to work with better, individuals or teams?” I like them both and I wouldn't have it any other way. Teams are made up of people and at some point I get to work face to face individually with everyone…it’s a win win for me.

I don’t say that to sound smart, but I say it to drive the point home that leadership is all about helping and working with people. Influencing them individually and as a team that can make it happen because you've invested in them.

Do you have a hard time with so and so?

It’s usually one of two things:

  • We are exactly like they are; only we don’t want to admit it. Which is why we are at a silent war within ourselves, to prove that we aren’t like them, we’re better.

  • We aren’t like them at all. Never were, never could be, and more than likely never will be. We have to make sure they know this.

Given an opportunity with either circumstance, we can still make a difference…but it will take a “come to Jesus” moment of being completely honest with ourselves. Putting ourselves in their shoes for a moment is the perfect place to begin. Realizing they have their own unique way of thinking, feeling, and doing things, not the way we do the reality.

Extend kindness and help, where before indifference existed. Leaders were born for challenges and thrive at making progress. There is no better place to begin than with someone in your life who isn’t always your favorite or the best player on your team.

It’s easy to be with those who are easy to get along with. The relationships we give a little extra attention to, become goldenly significant and valuable. They are the things that are priceless.

Taking us above and beyond...into what will last!

Up for a challenge…pick someone that is a bit distant on your list, show them you care. I can see you moving them higher on your priority list, because of your efforts.

Will you me know how it goes? I’d can't wait to hear…

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